Sitting at 5 weeks 5 days with nothing much to report. 5 more days until my scan, the days seem to be crawling by! Lots of 5's, that's a lucky thing for me. So far I've had two people say that they think (or have had dreams) that I am having twins. I had a dream last night that I was feeling my belly trying to tell how many were in there. Never did get an answer, hahaha!
Oh Wednesday morning please come soon!
Friday, August 29, 2014
Wednesday, August 20, 2014
3rd beta test in!
My third beta was 367! Up from 148 a little over 48 hours ago. Going up nicely!
I have my first scan scheduled for the 3rd. Wow, another 2WW? lol.
I have my first scan scheduled for the 3rd. Wow, another 2WW? lol.
14dp3dt (4w+3d)
Been a busy couple of days... well more like a big bundle of nerves. The morning after my second beta I noticed some spotting, and the next morning as well. Yes, yes... I know spotting can be normal. But call it PTSD or whatever you will, in my mind spotting = miscarriage. It just gave me flashbacks of being so happy, seeing the heartbeat on US, then spotting and eventually a little cramping and NOT seeing the heartbeat anymore. I was in shock the whole day. It took me a while for it to really sink in. It was a few years ago but it still hurts. And when I see spotting, I just get scared. It wasn't bright red, clots, heavy or anything like that. So I'm trying to remain positive. My IVF nurse said just keep taking your meds and spotting can be normal, especially when using the progesterone suppositories.
I'm getting a third beta today, 2 days after the second. I'm hoping for some good numbers.
Here's some progression pics of the BFPs... Note they are still getting darker from 12 to 14, even with the spotting. :)
One last cute thing: My estimated due date based off of retrieval day is my birthday!! April 26th. :)
I'm getting a third beta today, 2 days after the second. I'm hoping for some good numbers.
Here's some progression pics of the BFPs... Note they are still getting darker from 12 to 14, even with the spotting. :)
One last cute thing: My estimated due date based off of retrieval day is my birthday!! April 26th. :)
Saturday, August 16, 2014
10dp3dt
I decided to take another FRER and IC (internet cheapie) test today and then do another of both on Monday before my next beta. I got a little nervous because the FRER looked a little lighter than the last one, BUT I'm starting to see a line on the IC today.
Which leads me to conclude that those tests (I bought them from early-pregnancy-tests.com) have a sensitivity of 50 mIU/ml. Their website claims 20 mIU/ml but I don't believe it. The day of my beta (which was 42) I saw nothing, and I'm a squinter. Granted I realize blood levels are present and the body has to metabolize the chemical first, but it should have at least been 20-25 in my urine by then.
I used to buy the wondfo tests off of Amazon, but after I got a GLARING false positive I refused to buy those ever again. And I left a bad review as well. Nothing worse than a false positive for someone going through infertility. Seriously.
It got a little darker after it sat a bit, so I feel better ;)
It's actually easier to make out the line on the new IC when the picture is minimized.
Which leads me to conclude that those tests (I bought them from early-pregnancy-tests.com) have a sensitivity of 50 mIU/ml. Their website claims 20 mIU/ml but I don't believe it. The day of my beta (which was 42) I saw nothing, and I'm a squinter. Granted I realize blood levels are present and the body has to metabolize the chemical first, but it should have at least been 20-25 in my urine by then.
I used to buy the wondfo tests off of Amazon, but after I got a GLARING false positive I refused to buy those ever again. And I left a bad review as well. Nothing worse than a false positive for someone going through infertility. Seriously.
Friday, August 15, 2014
8dp3dt HPT and 9dp3dt Beta
Ok so I was doing such a good job not peeing on ANY sticks, until 8dp3dt. That's when DH decided to ask if I planned on POAS. I was going to wait the one extra day when I said I would, but he got sad and wanted to see it now. So I just want the record to reflect that I wasn't the one who gave in, he was! Hah! AND he demanded that I use a FRER, none of those cheap internet sticks.
And... we saw a pretty nice BFP! At least I think it's nice for 11 dpo more or less.
Of course, I tested with an internet stick alongside just to compare. Stark white!
Fast forward ahead to the next day, I was able to move my beta test up to Friday instead of Monday since I saw the line. My beta at 9dp3dt was 42!! So I'm guessing the threshold on those internet sticks are around 50. We'll see tomorrow.
My next beta will be on Monday, or 12dp3dt. I'm so nervous. I really hope the numbers look good. Fingers crossed and every other good luck charm I can think of!
And... we saw a pretty nice BFP! At least I think it's nice for 11 dpo more or less.
Of course, I tested with an internet stick alongside just to compare. Stark white!
Fast forward ahead to the next day, I was able to move my beta test up to Friday instead of Monday since I saw the line. My beta at 9dp3dt was 42!! So I'm guessing the threshold on those internet sticks are around 50. We'll see tomorrow.
My next beta will be on Monday, or 12dp3dt. I'm so nervous. I really hope the numbers look good. Fingers crossed and every other good luck charm I can think of!
Wednesday, August 13, 2014
Dusting Off The Blog - IVF Recap!
A lot has happened since I seriously neglected the blog. I did a total of 2 more IUIs after my hysteroscopy and multiple polyp removal. Both of which were a big fat negative BTW. Big surprise there. Right before I triggered for my last IUI I got a notice that my RE would be leaving the practice and all of his patients would have to find a new doctor, which would have meant an even farther drive than the hour and a half each way I go now. So that was my big sign that IVF was definitely a go and in the works for the Jul/Aug cycle I signed up for.
Sorry to say, I've been a bad little girl and already completed my whole IVF cycle without posting any updates here. SORRY! I am currently 7dp3dt and maybe I'll make up for the lack of posting with some exciting news soon.
So here's the lowdown of the IVF cycle I just had:
I ended up going on birth control pills soon after I started my period with the last IUI. I think I took a total of maybe 3 weeks worth or so. The IVF done at Fort Bragg is usually 4 times a year, so everyone is placed on the same cycle with the BCP and we all get our appointments pretty much on the same day, plus or minus a day or two once we all start growing our follicles. I went for a baseline scan, and everything looked great. We all had to attend an introduction class before starting, which included a full demo of how to give ourselves (or our SO) the meds. Since I do that for a living I pretty much made DH do everything just in case he needed to be on standby for whatever reason. He whined at first, but quickly gave in. I'm not sure if it was the mini-spat we almost had in front of the other couples about it, or the fact that he had already raised his hand to ask the IVF nurse if I would "be as much of a bitch as she was on Clomid." Hahaha!
My injections were twice a day. The first day was only 10 units of Lupron 12 hours apart, and then the rest of the time was 10 units Lupron, and I think 75 units each of Gonal-f and Menopur twice a day. Don't worry, the meds were all mixed in one syringe so the sticking was pretty minimal and I didn't get much bruising at all.
I think I did a total of 4 or 5 scans and my retrieval date only ended up being one day later than the tentatively scheduled one on our calendar. My first scan we saw about 10 follicles between the two ovaries, and by the end there were around 20. The last few days of stims I was completely miserable. I felt so full and my left ovary hated me so much I could barely lift my left leg to put my pants back on after the scans. The term human incubator came out of my mouth a few times. Funny thing is, I was begging for the egg retrieval thinking that I would feel so much better after. But I happened to miss the fact (or maybe I just selectively ignored) that the bloating and miserable feelings would only get worse! I chugged my gatorade like a champion and ate as many salty foods as I could find.
They ended up getting 17 total eggs, which my husband informed me that as I was waking up from the procedure I kept demanding to know where the rest of my eggs were. I don't even remember that, or much of the rest of recovery. Versed, Fentanyl, and Propofol treated me very well. I know there was at least one other woman who only got 4 eggs or so, and I really hope she wasn't there to hear me complain about a lack of eggs cause I'd feel like a REAL jerk. Anyways, we had to do ICSI since I had failed IUIs, and ended up with 14 good embryos, most 8 cell grade 1 (excellent) quality.
The valium they had us take for the transfer day really helped me to relax. We were able to see pictures of our embryos, and picked the 2 (!!!) we were going to put back in. Two is their limit for my age group and the fact that this is our first IVF cycle. Otherwise I might have even been convinced to go for three at this point.
The transfer wasn't bad. The worst part was having to come with a full bladder, then wait, and then have the nurse press on my stomach for the ultrasound while the doctor placed the catheter. I saw my two shooting stars on the screen as he injected them into my uterus and got to take home a picture. It was all over so fast, almost anticlimactic. I wish it were like the Sims, where you pretty much get the good to go about 30 seconds after the deed is done. Alas, no.... here I sit about 7 days later (7dp3dt) still wondering if this is actually going to work.
For whatever reason, I decided I wasn't going to play my usual role of psycho POAS girl leaving trails of cheap home pregnancy tests everywhere I walked. My HCG beta tests are scheduled for Monday and Wednesday, 5 days from now. My nurse told me on the transfer day that I could try an HPT on Friday and if it was positive they could move my beta test up a bit earlier. But I also got another HCG shot on my transfer day, and I forgot to ask what the dose was. So there's always the chance that any positive I might get could still be the trigger/HCG shot in my system. Technically today is the equivalent of 10dpo, when I started to faintly see all of my other positive lines. I've good up until this point waiting, but now it's just killing me!
Being the planner that I am, I was doing more research into the realms of unexplained infertility. Two subjects that caught my interest were endometriosis and reproductive immunology. I know that my mother had an early hysterectomy, but she's a horrible historian and so I'm not 100% what the reason was. From what she describes it does sound like endo. There can be a genetic link, so there's a possibility that I have mild endo undiagnosed since the only surgery I've had was my recent hysteroscopy. And endo has been linked to a toxic pelvic environment. Which means even if you ovulate with patent tubes, the egg travels through the toxic fluids or the tube villi are affected, or... you get the picture. IVF would be the solution for that problem.
And as far as immunology, I was reading up on uterine NK cells and DQ alpha/alloimmune implantation dysfunction. Those sound a little scarier, but also controversial. I've read articles that claim uNK cells are always present, and rarely attack an embryo, and others that claim it could be a cause for miscarriage or implantation failure. I need to read more about the DQ alpha but the barney-style idea seems to be that the female and male both have two of these markers. If the markers end up matching each other, it could mean that the uterus will basically attack the embryo. Even IVF seemed sketchy in that situation, which is the part that scares me. I told my husband that if this cycle ended up negative I may look into further immune testing for us. But I leave it at that, because thinking any more into it would mean being more negative about this cycle than I want to be.
Overall I was in denial for a while that I was even at the point of doing IVF. I couldn't even believe we were actually doing it. It sounds strange, but the years really creep up on you and it almost feels like I'm cheating somehow. But I know that it's been long enough. And I'm just tired of having to listen to people telling me how I need to just relax, and it'll happen. If 4+ years isn't long enough for you, I don't know or care what is.
Sorry to say, I've been a bad little girl and already completed my whole IVF cycle without posting any updates here. SORRY! I am currently 7dp3dt and maybe I'll make up for the lack of posting with some exciting news soon.
So here's the lowdown of the IVF cycle I just had:
I ended up going on birth control pills soon after I started my period with the last IUI. I think I took a total of maybe 3 weeks worth or so. The IVF done at Fort Bragg is usually 4 times a year, so everyone is placed on the same cycle with the BCP and we all get our appointments pretty much on the same day, plus or minus a day or two once we all start growing our follicles. I went for a baseline scan, and everything looked great. We all had to attend an introduction class before starting, which included a full demo of how to give ourselves (or our SO) the meds. Since I do that for a living I pretty much made DH do everything just in case he needed to be on standby for whatever reason. He whined at first, but quickly gave in. I'm not sure if it was the mini-spat we almost had in front of the other couples about it, or the fact that he had already raised his hand to ask the IVF nurse if I would "be as much of a bitch as she was on Clomid." Hahaha!
My injections were twice a day. The first day was only 10 units of Lupron 12 hours apart, and then the rest of the time was 10 units Lupron, and I think 75 units each of Gonal-f and Menopur twice a day. Don't worry, the meds were all mixed in one syringe so the sticking was pretty minimal and I didn't get much bruising at all.
I think I did a total of 4 or 5 scans and my retrieval date only ended up being one day later than the tentatively scheduled one on our calendar. My first scan we saw about 10 follicles between the two ovaries, and by the end there were around 20. The last few days of stims I was completely miserable. I felt so full and my left ovary hated me so much I could barely lift my left leg to put my pants back on after the scans. The term human incubator came out of my mouth a few times. Funny thing is, I was begging for the egg retrieval thinking that I would feel so much better after. But I happened to miss the fact (or maybe I just selectively ignored) that the bloating and miserable feelings would only get worse! I chugged my gatorade like a champion and ate as many salty foods as I could find.
They ended up getting 17 total eggs, which my husband informed me that as I was waking up from the procedure I kept demanding to know where the rest of my eggs were. I don't even remember that, or much of the rest of recovery. Versed, Fentanyl, and Propofol treated me very well. I know there was at least one other woman who only got 4 eggs or so, and I really hope she wasn't there to hear me complain about a lack of eggs cause I'd feel like a REAL jerk. Anyways, we had to do ICSI since I had failed IUIs, and ended up with 14 good embryos, most 8 cell grade 1 (excellent) quality.
The valium they had us take for the transfer day really helped me to relax. We were able to see pictures of our embryos, and picked the 2 (!!!) we were going to put back in. Two is their limit for my age group and the fact that this is our first IVF cycle. Otherwise I might have even been convinced to go for three at this point.
The transfer wasn't bad. The worst part was having to come with a full bladder, then wait, and then have the nurse press on my stomach for the ultrasound while the doctor placed the catheter. I saw my two shooting stars on the screen as he injected them into my uterus and got to take home a picture. It was all over so fast, almost anticlimactic. I wish it were like the Sims, where you pretty much get the good to go about 30 seconds after the deed is done. Alas, no.... here I sit about 7 days later (7dp3dt) still wondering if this is actually going to work.
For whatever reason, I decided I wasn't going to play my usual role of psycho POAS girl leaving trails of cheap home pregnancy tests everywhere I walked. My HCG beta tests are scheduled for Monday and Wednesday, 5 days from now. My nurse told me on the transfer day that I could try an HPT on Friday and if it was positive they could move my beta test up a bit earlier. But I also got another HCG shot on my transfer day, and I forgot to ask what the dose was. So there's always the chance that any positive I might get could still be the trigger/HCG shot in my system. Technically today is the equivalent of 10dpo, when I started to faintly see all of my other positive lines. I've good up until this point waiting, but now it's just killing me!
Being the planner that I am, I was doing more research into the realms of unexplained infertility. Two subjects that caught my interest were endometriosis and reproductive immunology. I know that my mother had an early hysterectomy, but she's a horrible historian and so I'm not 100% what the reason was. From what she describes it does sound like endo. There can be a genetic link, so there's a possibility that I have mild endo undiagnosed since the only surgery I've had was my recent hysteroscopy. And endo has been linked to a toxic pelvic environment. Which means even if you ovulate with patent tubes, the egg travels through the toxic fluids or the tube villi are affected, or... you get the picture. IVF would be the solution for that problem.
And as far as immunology, I was reading up on uterine NK cells and DQ alpha/alloimmune implantation dysfunction. Those sound a little scarier, but also controversial. I've read articles that claim uNK cells are always present, and rarely attack an embryo, and others that claim it could be a cause for miscarriage or implantation failure. I need to read more about the DQ alpha but the barney-style idea seems to be that the female and male both have two of these markers. If the markers end up matching each other, it could mean that the uterus will basically attack the embryo. Even IVF seemed sketchy in that situation, which is the part that scares me. I told my husband that if this cycle ended up negative I may look into further immune testing for us. But I leave it at that, because thinking any more into it would mean being more negative about this cycle than I want to be.
Overall I was in denial for a while that I was even at the point of doing IVF. I couldn't even believe we were actually doing it. It sounds strange, but the years really creep up on you and it almost feels like I'm cheating somehow. But I know that it's been long enough. And I'm just tired of having to listen to people telling me how I need to just relax, and it'll happen. If 4+ years isn't long enough for you, I don't know or care what is.
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